I don't want to face a younger me
And tell her it doesn't get better.
Tell her she is let down by society.
Her goodness does not matter.
People will hurt her and they wont think twice.
She will spend time stuck and lonely
Sad and overwhelmed by the evil of the world.
She will grow
But growth will be a survival mechanism to try and escape.
She will do everything she can
But the evil will hold on tight.
She will wake up crying.
She will no longer have nightmares.
Nothing will be as terrifying as her lived experience.
Her dreams some nights will be the only safety and comfort she experiences for weeks.
She does have a support system.
Her counselor will be a kind, gentle person that cries during difficult sessions.
Who has nothing to offer
No way to help her.
She will watch family and friends contort themselves trying to help
But they will be helpless.
Nothing will ever be enough to make her whole again.
There will be a time before and a time after.
Because that's what trauma does.